In Defense of a Looooong Academy Awards Show

Peo­ple always com­plain about the Acad­emy Awards show; it’s too long, it’s bor­ing, it has all of those lame musi­cal numbers

But whether it’s Rob Lowe and Snow White danc­ing to “Proud Mary” or Savion Glover tap-dancing to the music from Schindler’s List, the musi­cal num­bers do serve their pur­pose. Imag­ine you’re the one sit­ting in that giant the­ater wait­ing for your name to be called as one of the hon­ored few in your cat­e­gory. You’re crowded next to your co-stars and the pro­duc­ers, you kinda need to use the restroom but the lines are incred­i­bly long and just at that moment the pro­duc­ers of the show have shined their tim­ing wis­dom on you and start show­ing a dance ret­ro­spec­tive from the past eighty years of Oscars.

And all of those peo­ple that make the movies, most of them are the lit­tle guy, the guy you’ve never heard of that did some­thing really cool with the spe­cial effects from Iron Man or The Dark Knight, shouldn’t he be hon­ored too? Yes, he’s crammed into the bor­ing part of the show, the part of the show that every­one watches just to see what the goofy cos­tume designer is wear­ing and what bizarre polit­i­cal rant they’re going to go on dur­ing the Best Doc­u­men­tary award.

The Acad­emy is made up of TONS of peo­ple, and they all want their moment in the sun.

What if you were that lit­tle guy? The guy that won Best Live Action Short? Wouldn’t you want your moment?

So stop com­plain­ing dur­ing the bloated, overly-long Oscars. Let’s win one for the lit­tle guy.