Processed cheese, Amer­i­can cheese, what­ever you call it, is the dol­lar store of cheeses. Sure, it tastes good on a grilled cheese or on top of a burger, but it’s the chicken nugget of cheese. Processed cheese, accord­ing to the FDA, is a “food prod­uct” made from reg­u­lar cheese and some­times other unfer­mented dairy ingredients, […]

1. INT. STUDY. 8:15 A.M. Ama­teur Film critic GLENN VANCE is sit­ting in his study on a Sat­ur­day morn­ing attempt­ing to fig­ure out what to say about the hilar­i­ous and out­landishly bizarre movie, ADAPTATION, he and his wife saw yes­ter­day evening. The dif­fi­culty of his task is evi­dent on his face because the film was about […]

We thought it would be pretty cool to go to Wash­ing­ton, D.C. for the Fourth of July, 1999. As you know it was the turn of the mil­len­nium (yes, I know that Jan. 1, 2001, was the actual turn of the mil­len­nium, so don’t write me about that) and they were going to have an […]

A cou­ple of days ago I was get­ting up and Pey­ton, the baby of the fam­ily, was wak­ing up too. Rather than put him in the bouncy seat, or let him play on the floor and bang a lot of toys on the tile, Kim sug­gested that I put him into the shower with me.We […]

I saw Jerry Haynes, aka for local Dal­las kids in the 1970’s, Mr. Pep­per­mint, in the park­ing lot of the Albertson’s talk­ing to an older man. At first I thought, “Hey, it’s Mr. Pep­per­mint.” Sec­ondly, I thought, “Wait a minute — he must live around here.” Mr. Pep­per­mint was the host of Pep­per­mint Place, a […]