We’re get­ting a new James Bond film, with a brand freak­ing new guy play­ing James Bond, later this year. Yipee.

If you’re like me and kind of lost inter­est in what James Bond does along about when Tim­o­thy Dal­ton took over, you prob­a­bly won’t care about this new film either. But I like the old school James Bond films, they’re fun and have their silly kitsch fac­tor about them. And go ahead and make fun of me, but after Con­nery my favorite Bondie is George Lazenby. Yes, I like On Her Majesty’s Secret Ser­vice, ‘cause the movie rokkks, man. It’s got one of the bet­ter story lines and it’s the deep­est you ever get into Bond’s char­ac­ter, since he gets mar­ried and all. And then she dies, which is gold, man.

But I’ve got a the­ory about all this James Bond stuff.

It started out with the last Bond film, Die Another Day. It was the 40th anniver­sary of the Bond jug­ger­naut and they had a scene where the then-current Bond, Pierce Bros­nan, was with John Cleese’s Q, and in the scene they’re walk­ing through Q’s work­shop and they have a lot of dif­fer­ent gad­gets and weapons that Bond used over the decades. Bond picks up the shoe dag­ger from From Rus­sia with Love and looks at it like he has no idea what it is, just this quizzi­cal look. He puts it down after pon­der­ing it a moment, but it sparked some­thing in me. And I think I fig­ured out who “James Bond” is.

Another thought — in the new film, Casino Royale, new Bond, the butt-kicking Daniel Craig, is shown earn­ing his two zeros the only way that he can earn them — by assas­si­nat­ing two peo­ple. Later on Judi Dench’s M speaks with Bond. Now, if this were some sort of ori­gin story, as it’s being pur­ported to be, shouldn’t M look a lit­tle bit like Bernard Lee, who played him for decades before he died? If we’re going waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back to tell how James became who he is, why is M a woman? I don’t think MI6 from 1964 would want any­body else but Moneypenny.

Because there are many James Bonds, and the name is a pseu­do­nym for some­one else hid­ing behind the persona.

And it’s backed up by the line said by Lazenby in On Her Majesty’s Secret Ser­vice -

James Bond: [to the cam­era] This never hap­pened to the other fellow.

It makes sense. If Daniel Craig has to earn his ‘00’ title then Judi Dench can be there, since Daniel Craig’s “James Bond” is circa 2006, not 1964. And it explains why Bros­nan can eye a dag­ger shoe like a dork.

It totally makes sense. And you know me, I’m never wrong. Ever!