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Category: Death

I Can’t Stop Thinking of Ways to Kill Zombies at the Office

I started and stopped reading several times a book called World War Z. It’s a completely serious take of what happened to the world and its population following a zombie apocalypse sometime in the not-to-distant future. It’s creepy and kinda scary in parts but if you make it through the whole book it’s a pretty good “what if” scenario. For the entire population of Earth to suddenly have to face a cataclysm of never before seen proportions and fight back until living humans regained the planet is pretty cool.

And it gets you thinking about surviving something terrifying : could I do it? How would I get my family out alive? Where would we go? What would we do about food and water? Could I trust my fellow living humans? Even my own neighbors? ‘Cause you never know what people will do when faced with the end of modern civilization and we’re suddenly living in the Dark Ages all over again. Everybody, let’s party like it’s 999!

Being Mr. ADD my mind will wander sometimes so when I’m stuck in the break room the other day waiting for the microwave to finish warming my lunch up I look over at the ice machine. Hanging off of it is a pretty hefty ice scoop probably measuring about 12 inches by 5 inches by 5 inches. The thing is big.

So I hefted it off of the scratch-built hook that it hangs off of and raise it up. Could I cleave a skull with this? Would a machete be better in close zombie combat? How would I get out of this breakroom if my office were infested with the undead bodies of the people I work with? Could I differentiate between their living and undead selves?

Somebody came in after that. He was taller than me. What if he was a zombie? He’s pretty tall, could I cut his head off with this thing?

I took my lunch back to my cube and started looking around at more items in my general vicinity. I have a knife but a knife in zombie combat is going to be pretty useless – no point in stabbing them. Could I crush a head with a laptop? My monitor weighs as much as a car so it’s useless too. The cube walls aren’t too tall, I could escape over them if I got pinned down and there’s a pretty hefty door right near my cube. That could my my escape route, but what if there were more zombies behind that hunting for fresh brains?

There’s a guy that sits at the end of my row. I sometimes wish he were a zombie so I could cleave his head with an ice scooper.

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A friend of mine died today. He was a work friend, but I knew more about his life than the majority of the people that I work with, so I consider him not a work friend but a real friend.

Bob L’Roy was a goofy goofy man. He smoked, drank, and cussed with the best of him, but he was loyal. He played the drums, liked camping and boating, and was an all around good guy. His desk at work was right in front of mine. Every time I look over my monitor I will miss him.

He went to UT back in the 60’s and got shot at by Charles Whitman. After staying in school as long as he possibly could, he got drafted into the Army and became an APC driver. He saw combat and was wounded when his APC drove over a Vietcong mine. It was a million dollar wound and he got to come back to the states.

He bummed around and started drumming for various jazz musicians, going on the road with them and making music his life. He enjoyed it, but he longed for something more sedentary. He eventually went back to school, learned programming, and started working with computers. He worked here and there for various companies programming in the 80’s, fixing things here, making things better there.

Eventually he and I started working together. He was friendly, affable, and liked to tell jokes. He and I talked a lot about his time at UT and the Army. He was quiet and considerate of others and never failed to make you feel welcome around him. Sometimes he would bore me to tears, telling me about some piece of programming he’d written that he was proud of, and how it still needed tweaking, but that was coming, and then later he’d tell me more, and man, it was dull, but he was proud of what he did, which is not something a lot of people can say with what they create.

I had planned to go see him tomorrow. I had hoped he would hang on, and I didn’t make it. He wasn’t conscience, and he wouldn’t have known I was there, but I feel guilty and selfish. He was there, laying there, and now he’s not.

He’s been dead about 2 hours now. My coworker talked to him about God once, and from what he heard Bob’s in pretty good hands right now. I hope he is.

Here’s his obit –

L’ROY, ROBERT F. Age 62, of Allen, Texas, passed away June 2, 2006, in Dallas, Texas. He was born April 22, 1944, in Carthage, Missouri, to Robert E. and Alice (Henson) L’Roy. He served in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam Conflict and was a Purple Heart recipient. He was very active in the Dallas jazz music scene as a bassist, before receiving a Master’s of Computer Science Degree from East Texas State University Commerce. Mr. L’Roy last worked for SBC as a computer analyst in Irving. He is survived by many aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. His parents preceded him in death. Visitation with the family will be from 6:00 to 9:00 P.M., Wednesday, June 7, 2006, at Turrentine-Jackson-Morrow Funeral Home. A private interment will be at Ridgeview Memorial Park. To convey condolences or to sign an online registry, please visit:, Turrentine Jackson Morrow Ridgeview Memorial Park Exit 38 N Central Expwy (972) 542-2601

OB6 Obituaries, Notices

Published in the Dallas Morning News on 6/6/2006.

Goodbye, Yeti Bob. I’ll see you someday.

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