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Month: August 2007

The Longest and Shortest Major League Baseball Games

Baseball, in this day and age, can seem to take an eternity to watch. Especially if you’re going into the 8th with a 0-0 tie on your hands. But the longest baseball game in major league play was played between the Chicago White Sox and Milwaukee Brewers at Comiskey Park in Chicago. The game started on May 9, 1984, and because of MLB rules, the teams had to quit playing at 12:59 am of May 10, so the teams came back the next day to finish what they’d started the day before. All in all, the game lasted 8 hours and 6 minutes, with a final score of 7-6 in 25 innings. The White Sox won, by the way, on a home run by right fielder Harold Baines. The shortest MLB game on record took place on September 28, 1919 between the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Phillies at the Baker Bowl in Philadelphia. It took the Giants only 51 minutes to beat the Phillies, 6-1. [1. This information can be found almost anywhere on the Internet, but for more information you can check out the amazingly comprehensive Baseball Almanac.]

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A Disturbing Trend in Children’s Birthday Parties

Being a dad I’ve hosted birthday parties in the past and have often had to go to birthday parties of the children of friends of ours. It’s a trade off – you buy my kid a gift and that entitles your child to receive a gift from my kid at your kid’s next party. Every parent is paying off the other parent so that their kids can get something at the birthday party when it rolls around to being your child’s time again.

And often you’ll put a lot of effort and caring into choosing that special birthday party gift. What does the child like? What is the age range on the gift? Does it have small parts and do they have a younger sibling that might choke on those parts? You want to make sure that you don’t get something that the kid won’t play with because more and more stores aren’t letting you return, or even exchange for that matter, toys that don’t have a receipt with them. You end up putting a lot of research into determining just what kind of present you’re going to buy.

But lately there’s a new trend that until now I hadn’t noticed – the host of the birthday party (the birthday partier, if you will) not opening their gifts that the invited got for said partier until after the party’s over and everyone’s gone home.

After your effort, aren’t you entitled to a little closure with that present that you took care to find and wrap? What’s up with that? You take your present to the party, your child has fun, and then you leave without the host opening their gifts. It’s like watching all the way up until the end of Star Wars and not seeing if the Rebels destroy the Death Star.

Anyway, I’m sounding the klaxon that this is a completely uncool trend. Let it end now, parents of would-be present non-openers. Don’t even try it, muthas.

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Why is Everyone Scared of You When You’re Wearing a Ski Mask?

I remember when I was a kid that some kids (not me) when they were walking to school in the cold would wear various things – coats, gloves, hats, and sometimes the invaluably effective ski mask.

I always wanted one. I never got one.

They were awesome. Your face would be warm out in the cold. An efficient piece of clothing for keeping your nose from freezing.

Of course, if you wear one now, people look at you a little funny. You can see it on their faces. “Who’s that shady, yet warm, character over there? Is he going to rob me? Kill me? Maybe blow up a bomb?”

Everyone thinks you’re a terrorist or a bank robber or a mugger now if you wear a ski mask. Which is why I want to rehabilitate the ski mask’s reputation. Who’s with me?

I want a ski mask just so I can drive around with one on. People may stare but I’ll only do good thing while wearing my ski mask – help the environment, care for old people, be kind to animals, go shopping for groceries, all while wearing my trusty, warm and woolly ski mask.

Why can’t we all love the ski mask again? It never stopped loving us.

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