Last updated on June 29, 2022
Even though it existed long ago in a galaxy far, far away, the characters of Star Wars appear to know who Albert Einstein was, the proof being the song “Bells” from the 1980 album “Christmas in the Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album”.1These lyrics appear to not currently exist anywhere on the web, so I’ve transcribed them myself from the original song. The plot:
C-3PO and R2-D2 have been chatting previously about Christmas (from track one, ‘Christmas in the Stars’) and their talk turns to a sound that R2-D2 hasn’t heard before.
R2-D2 speak
What is that? That my silly friend, is the sound of bells.”
R2-D2 speak
“What are bells?”
For shame! C-3PO proceeds to berate R2-D2:
I cannot believe the question
It’s like, “what is indigestion?”
Not that bells and indigestion are the same.
I cannot believe the query
That you ask, “what is Einstein’s theory?”
Compared to “what are bells?” seems almost tame.
R2-D2 speak
What is indigestion? Who is Einstein?
Before you ask me, “Who is H.G. Wells?”
I will help your education with a simple explanation of bells.
So now we’ve thrown human digestive problems, one of the greatest minds of the 20th Century, and a British science fiction writer born in the 19th century into the mix.
Bells bells bells
The thing they do is ring!
Bells bells bells
What happy thoughts they bring!
Bells of every kind and sort, bells that play and bells for sport, chiming what the hour is now, or they’ll lead you to a cow!
Cows?
Bells bells bells
Make such a merry sound!
Bells bells bells
When Christmas comes around!
Bells when snow begins to fall, bells when friends begins to call!
Bells when love is in your heart, bells when Christmas carols start!
In each and every man, where peaceful harmony dwells
You will hear loud and clear the thunderous wondrous sound of bells!
Bells bells bells
They’re tiny and they’re small!
Bells bells bells
Are also ten feet tall!
Bells that sparkle in your eyes, every color every size
Speaking languages with ease
In a breeze they’re Japanese!
Japanese? Again, really?
The song goes on from there, but the meat of the topic posited above is that C-3PO has now mentioned Albert Einstein, H.G. Wells, cows and Japan. And don’t forget the Judeo-Christian implications of a Star Wars Universe character knowing about Christmas. Later in the album Santa Claus is mentioned, as well as one of his sons, S. Claus. We never learn S.’s first name, except that it starts with an ‘s’.
We can only assume that this will eventually play into Star Wars: Episode VII, where we finally have the Millennium Falcon chased by the remnants of the Empire to Earth. Get ready!
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